Using popular music is one of the most effective ways to bridge the gap between textbook English and the natural language used by native speakers. The 2011 hit song “Somebody That I Used to Know” by Gotye featuring Kimbra offers a rich tapestry of grammatical structures, including the habitual past, relative clauses, and nuanced emotional vocabulary. By analyzing lyrics such as used to, stoop so low, cut me off, and treat me like a stranger, learners can see how complex linguistic rules function in a real-world context. This guide is designed for English as a Second Language (ESL) students and teachers who wish to explore advanced syntax and idiomatic expressions through the lens of a modern pop classic. Understanding these concepts is essential for achieving fluency, as it allows learners to describe past habits, express regret, and navigate the subtleties of interpersonal relationships in English.
Table of Contents
- Defining the Grammar of the Song
- The Habitual Past: “Used To” vs. “Would”
- Relative Clauses and the Title Structure
- Phrasal Verbs in Emotional Contexts
- Idiomatic Expressions and Slang
- Pronoun Usage and Subject-Object Relationships
- Comprehensive Grammar Reference Tables
- Common Mistakes and How to Avoid Them
- Practice Exercises and Quizzes
- Advanced Topics: Mood and Tone
- Frequently Asked Questions
- Conclusion and Final Tips
Defining the Grammar of the Song
The song “Somebody That I Used to Know” serves as a masterclass in several key English grammar areas. At its core, the song deals with the transition of time and the changing nature of human relationships. This necessitates a strong command of past tenses and structures that indicate a disconnect between the past and the present.
The primary grammatical focus is the phrase “used to,” which is a semi-modal verb used to describe past habits or states that are no longer true. Unlike the simple past, which merely states that an action occurred, “used to” emphasizes the contrast between then and now. When Gotye sings about someone he “used to know,” he implies that while they were once close, they are now strangers.
Additionally, the song utilizes relative clauses to define people and objects. The title itself is a noun phrase containing a reduced relative clause. Understanding how to omit the relative pronoun “that” or “whom” is a crucial step for intermediate learners moving toward an advanced level of proficiency. The song also provides excellent examples of phrasal verbs, which are combinations of verbs and prepositions that create new meanings, often posing a challenge for ESL students.
The Habitual Past: “Used To” vs. “Would”
One of the most frequent points of confusion for English learners is how to talk about the past. While the simple past is the default, the habitual past adds a layer of nostalgia or repetitive action. In the song, the recurring line “Somebody that I used to know” highlights a state of being that has ended.
The Structure of “Used To”
The structure is surprisingly consistent: Subject + used to + base verb. It is important to note that “used to” does not change based on the subject; it remains the same for I, you, he, she, we, and they. However, the negative and interrogative forms often trip students up because they require the auxiliary verb “did,” which removes the “-d” from “used.”
For example, “I didn’t use to like coffee” is the correct form, though you will often see native speakers mistakenly write “didn’t used to.” In the context of the song, the artist is reflecting on a completed state of acquaintance. This is a “state” rather than an “action,” which is why “used to” is preferred over “would.”
“Used To” vs. “Would” for Past Habits
While both can describe the past, “would” is strictly for repeated actions, not states. You can say, “We would talk for hours,” but you cannot say, “I would know her.” Because “knowing” is a state of mind, only “used to” is grammatically appropriate in the song’s title. This distinction is vital for learners who want to sound natural and avoid “uncanny” phrasing in their speech.
Relative Clauses and the Title Structure
The title “Somebody That I Used to Know” is a perfect example of a defining relative clause. A relative clause gives essential information about a noun—in this case, “somebody.” Without the clause “that I used to know,” we wouldn’t know which “somebody” the singer is referring to.
Defining vs. Non-Defining Clauses
In this song, the clause is defining. It limits the scope of the noun. If we said, “My ex-girlfriend, who I used to know, called me,” that would be non-defining because “my ex-girlfriend” is already specific. The song title uses “that,” which is common in informal English, though “whom” would be the technically “correct” prescriptive choice for an object pronoun. However, in modern lyrics, “that” or even omitting the pronoun entirely (“Somebody I used to know”) is much more common.
The Zero Relative Pronoun
In English, when the relative pronoun (that/which/who) acts as the object of the clause, it can be deleted. In the sentence “The person (that) I saw,” “I” is the subject and “the person” is the object. Because the singer is the one doing the “knowing,” the “somebody” is the object. This is why the song could just as easily be titled “Somebody I Used to Know.”
Phrasal Verbs in Emotional Contexts
Gotye’s lyrics are packed with phrasal verbs that convey deep emotional meaning. Phrasal verbs like “cut me off” and “hung up on” are essential for describing breakups and social interactions. These are often difficult for ESL learners because their meanings are idiomatic and cannot be guessed by looking at the individual words.
Consider the line, “But you didn’t have to cut me off.” In this context, “cut off” doesn’t mean using scissors; it means to suddenly stop all communication or to exclude someone from one’s life. Similarly, the phrase “get used to” appears in the lyrics: “I guess that I don’t need that though / Now you’re just somebody that I used to know.” Here, “get used to” (becoming accustomed to something) is subtly different from the “used to” in the title.
Idiomatic Expressions and Slang
The song also uses several idioms that characterize the bitterness of a failed relationship. One of the most famous lines is, “But you didn’t have to stoop so low.” To “stoop low” means to abandon one’s moral standards or to act in a demeaning, petty way to hurt someone else. This imagery of physical height representing moral standing is common in English.
Another interesting use of language is “make out like it never happened.” The phrasal verb “make out” usually means to kiss passionately in American English, but here it means “to pretend” or “to claim.” This demonstrates how context and regional dialects (Gotye is Belgian-Australian) can influence the meaning of common English phrases.
Pronoun Usage and Subject-Object Relationships
The song features a duet between Gotye and Kimbra, representing two sides of a story. This provides a great opportunity to study subject and object pronouns. Gotye speaks from his perspective (“I,” “me”), while Kimbra responds with her own (“you,” “I”).
The line “You could be addicted to a certain kind of sadness” uses the second-person pronoun “you” to generalize a feeling, a common technique in English songwriting to make the listener feel included in the emotional experience. Meanwhile, “treat me like a stranger” uses the object pronoun “me” to show the singer as the recipient of the action. Mastering these pronouns is fundamental for basic communication, yet the song shows how they can be used to build a complex narrative of blame and regret.
Comprehensive Grammar Reference Tables
The following tables provide a structured look at the grammar concepts found within the song. These tables are designed to be used as quick reference guides for both students and teachers.
Table 1: Conjugating “Used To” across Different Forms
This table illustrates how “used to” changes (or stays the same) in various sentence structures. Note the disappearance of the ‘d’ in negative and question forms.
| Sentence Type | Formula | Example from/inspired by Song |
|---|---|---|
| Affirmative | Subject + used to + Verb | I used to know her very well. |
| Negative | Subject + didn’t use to + Verb | You didn’t use to be so cold. |
| Interrogative | Did + Subject + use to + Verb? | Did you use to live in this neighborhood? |
| Negative Interrogative | Didn’t + Subject + use to + Verb? | Didn’t you use to have long hair? |
| Affirmative (Plural) | They + used to + Verb | They used to be such a happy couple. |
| State Verb | Subject + used to + be/have | It used to be so simple between us. |
| Action Verb | Subject + used to + Action | We used to talk until the sun came up. |
| Frequency | Subject + always used to + Verb | She always used to bring me flowers. |
| Location | Subject + used to + live/stay | I used to live in a house by the woods. |
| Preference | Subject + used to + like/love | I used to love the way you laughed. |
| Possession | Subject + used to + have | I used to have your number memorized. |
| Work/Role | Subject + used to + work/be | He used to be a very kind man. |
| Habitual Action | Subject + used to + go/visit | We used to go to that cafe every Friday. |
| Appearance | Subject + used to + look | You used to look so different back then. |
| Skill | Subject + used to + play/do | I used to play the guitar for you. |
| Routine | Subject + used to + wake up | We used to wake up at the same time. |
| Belief | Subject + used to + think | I used to think we would last forever. |
| Feeling | Subject + used to + feel | I used to feel so safe in your arms. |
| Communication | Subject + used to + call | You used to call me every night. |
| Socializing | Subject + used to + hang out | We used to hang out with the same friends. |
Table 2: Phrasal Verbs Found in the Lyrics
Phrasal verbs are a highlight of this song’s vocabulary. This table breaks down their meanings and provides additional examples for clarity.
| Phrasal Verb | Meaning in Context | Alternative Example |
|---|---|---|
| Cut (someone) off | To stop communication abruptly | He cut his brother off after the argument. |
| Hang up (on) | To end a phone call / be obsessed | Don’t hang up on me while I’m talking! |
| Make out (like) | To pretend or claim falsely | He made out like he was rich, but he wasn’t. |
| Get used to | To become accustomed to | I’m finally getting used to the cold weather. |
| Stoop to | To lower one’s standards | I won’t stoop to their level by lying. |
| Give up (on) | To stop trying or believing | Never give up on your dreams. |
| Let (it) go | To release or stop holding a grudge | It’s time to let go of the past. |
| Look back (on) | To reflect on the past | When I look back, I realize I was wrong. |
| Screw (someone) over | To treat someone unfairly | The company really screwed its employees over. |
| Show up | To arrive or appear | He showed up at the party uninvited. |
| Move on | To progress after a setback | It’s hard to move on after a breakup. |
| Break up | To end a relationship | They decided to break up after five years. |
| Turn into | To become something else | The rain turned into snow overnight. |
| Put (someone) through | To make someone experience pain | She put him through a lot of stress. |
| Hold on (to) | To keep or cling to something | Hold on to your memories. |
| Talk (it) over | To discuss a problem | We need to talk over our differences. |
| Keep in touch | To maintain communication | Let’s keep in touch after graduation. |
| Back down | To withdraw from a position | He refused to back down from the fight. |
| Bring up | To mention a topic | Why did you bring up my old mistakes? |
| Go through | To experience a difficult time | They are going through a messy divorce. |
Table 3: Pronouns and Their Functions
Understanding the roles of “I,” “me,” “you,” and “somebody” helps in deconstructing the narrative perspective of the song.
| Pronoun Type | Word | Function | Lyric Example |
|---|---|---|---|
| Subject | I | The doer of the action | I used to know… |
| Object | Me | The receiver of the action | You didn’t have to cut me off. |
| Possessive Adjective | My | Shows ownership | Collect my records… |
| Subject/Object | You | The person being addressed | You said that we could still be friends. |
| Indefinite | Somebody | Refers to an unspecified person | Now you’re just somebody… |
| Relative | That | Connects clauses | Somebody that I used to know. |
| Reflexive | Myself | Subject and object are the same | I told myself that you were right for me. |
| Possessive Pronoun | Yours | Replaces a possessive noun | That record isn’t mine, it’s yours. |
| Demonstrative | That | Points to a specific thing | I don’t need that though. |
| Plural Subject | We | Includes the speaker and another | We were happy. |
| Object (Plural) | Us | Receivers (plural) | It happened to us. |
| Subject (Third Person) | She | A female third party | She said she was done. |
| Object (Third Person) | Him | A male third party | I saw him yesterday. |
| Indefinite | No one | Not a single person | No one knows the truth. |
| Indefinite | Everything | All things | Everything changed. |
| Relative | Who | Refers to people | The man who sold the world. |
| Interrogative | What | Asks for information | What happened to us? |
| Subject | They | Others | They don’t understand. |
| Object | Them | Receivers (others) | I told them the news. |
| Reflexive | Yourself | Addresser as receiver | You should be ashamed of yourself. |
Usage Rules: Mastering the Habitual Past
When using “used to,” there are several rules that learners must follow to ensure grammatical accuracy. These rules help differentiate between past habits, past states, and current familiarity.
1. “Used To” vs. “Be Used To”
This is perhaps the most common source of error. “Used to + verb” refers to the past. “Be used to + noun/gerund” refers to being accustomed to something in the present. In the song, Gotye says “somebody that I used to know” (past state). If he said “I am used to knowing her,” it would mean he is currently accustomed to the process of knowing her, which makes no sense in this context.
2. The “Did” Rule
As mentioned in the structural breakdown, the moment you use the auxiliary verb “did” (in questions or negatives), the “d” at the end of “used” must be dropped. This is because “did” already carries the past tense marker.
Correct: Did you use to love me?
Incorrect: Did you used to love me?
3. Stative Verbs and “Would”
You cannot use “would” with stative verbs like be, have, know, love, or believe when referring to the past.
Correct: I used to have a car.
Incorrect: I would have a car (unless you are speaking in the conditional tense).
Common Mistakes and How to Avoid Them
Even advanced learners make mistakes when dealing with the themes and structures in “Somebody That I Used to Know.” Below are some frequent errors and their corrections.
| Incorrect Sentence | Correct Sentence | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| I am used to live in London. | I used to live in London. | “Used to” for past states; “Am used to” requires a gerund (-ing). |
| I didn’t used to like him. | I didn’t use to like him. | Remove the ‘d’ after “didn’t.” |
| She would be my best friend. | She used to be my best friend. | “Would” cannot be used with the stative verb “be” for past habits. |
| The person which I used to know. | The person (that/who) I used to know. | Use “who” or “that” for people, “which” for objects. |
| He cutted me off. | He cut me off. | “Cut” is an irregular verb; the past tense is also “cut.” |
| I used to knowing her. | I used to know her. | “Used to” is followed by the base form of the verb. |
| We would have a big house. | We used to have a big house. | “Have” is a state; use “used to” instead of “would.” |
| Did you used to play soccer? | Did you use to play soccer? | Auxiliary “did” requires the base form “use.” |
Practice Exercises and Quizzes
Test your knowledge of the grammar concepts discussed above with these practice exercises. These are designed to mimic the structures found in the song lyrics.
Exercise 1: Fill in the Blanks (Used To / Use To)
- I ______ (know) her, but we don’t talk anymore.
- Did you ______ (have) long hair when you were a child?
- We ______ (not / be) so distant from each other.
- They ______ (live) in the same apartment block as me.
- What ______ you ______ (do) on weekends before you started this job?
- I ______ (think) that you were right for me.
- She ______ (not / like) pop music, but now she loves it.
- We ______ (spend) every summer at the beach.
- Did he ______ (work) for the same company as Gotye?
- I ______ (be) addicted to a certain kind of sadness.
Exercise 2: Phrasal Verb Match-up
Match the phrasal verb on the left with its definition on the right.
| Phrasal Verb | Definition |
|---|---|
| 1. Cut off | A. To pretend or claim falsely |
| 2. Stoop to | B. To stop communication abruptly | C. To become accustomed to |
| 4. Get used to | D. To lower one’s moral standards |
| 5. Hang up | E. To end a phone conversation |
Exercise 3: Relative Clause Transformation
Combine the two sentences using a relative clause (who, that, or which).
- I know a person. That person is now a stranger.
- You have a record. I need to collect that record.
- We had a relationship. The relationship ended badly.
- She said something. I didn’t understand it.
- He is a singer. He wrote a song about a breakup.
- They lived in a house. The house was painted red.
- I have a friend. He never calls me back.
- This is the sadness. I am addicted to it.
- You are the person. I used to know you.
- That is the level. I will not stoop to it.
Advanced Topics: Mood and Tone
Beyond basic grammar, the song “Somebody That I Used to Know” explores the subjunctive mood and conditional structures. When Kimbra sings, “I’ll admit that I was glad that it was over,” she is using a past real conditional. She is reflecting on a factual state of her feelings in the past.
The song also plays with modality. “You didn’t have to cut me off” uses the modal “have to” in the past tense to express a lack of necessity. This is a subtle way of expressing hurt; the singer isn’t saying the action was wrong, but rather that it was an unnecessary cruelty. Understanding these nuances helps ESL learners move from “correct” English to “expressive” English.
Furthermore, the passive voice is conspicuously absent. The song is highly active—”You did this,” “I did that.” This creates a sense of direct confrontation and personal accountability, which is a key feature of narrative storytelling in English. Learners can practice rewriting lyrics into the passive voice (e.g., “I was cut off by you”) to see how it changes the emotional impact and removes the sense of direct blame.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. Is “Somebody That I Used to Know” grammatically correct?
Yes, it is perfectly correct. “Somebody” is the head noun, and “that I used to know” is a defining relative clause. While some might argue for “whom” instead of “that,” in modern English, “that” is widely accepted and more natural in a casual or artistic context.
2. Why does he say “used to” instead of “knew”?
“Knew” is simple past; it just means the action happened. “Used to know” emphasizes that the relationship was a long-term state in the past that has now completely ended. It carries more emotional weight and suggests a significant change between then and now.
3. What does “stoop so low” mean?
It is an idiom meaning to do something unethical, mean, or beneath one’s dignity. In the song, it refers to the ex-partner behaving in a petty way during the breakup, such as changing their number or having friends collect their belongings.
4. Can I say “I am used to know him”?
No. “I am used to” must be followed by a noun or a gerund (verb+ing). You could say “I am used to knowing him,” but that would mean you are currently comfortable with the fact that you know him. To talk about the past, you must say “I used to know him.”
5. Is “cut me off” slang?
It is a phrasal verb that is very common in informal and standard English. While it might have started as slang, it is now a standard way to describe ending communication or being interrupted.
6. Why does she say “make out like it never happened”?
In this context, “make out” means “to pretend” or “to portray a situation in a certain way.” It is a common expression in British and Australian English, though in American English, “make out” more commonly refers to kissing.
7. What is the difference between “used to” and “usually”?
“Used to” is for the past (“I used to smoke”). “Usually” is an adverb of frequency for the present (“I usually drink tea”). You cannot use “used to” for present habits.
8. Can I omit “that” in the title?
Yes! “Somebody I Used to Know” is also grammatically correct. In English, when the relative pronoun is the object of the clause, it is optional.
Conclusion and Final Tips
Mastering the grammar of “Somebody That I Used to Know” provides learners with the tools to express complex emotions and past experiences. By focusing on the habitual past, relative clauses, and phrasal verbs, you can significantly improve your conversational fluency. Remember that “used to” is your best friend when describing how things have changed, and phrasal verbs are the key to sounding like a native speaker. To continue your progress, try listening to the song while following the lyrics, and attempt to write your own sentences using the patterns we’ve discussed. Music is a bridge; use it to cross over into a more natural and confident use of the English language. Keep practicing, and soon these structures will become second nature to you.
Answer Key for Practice Exercises
Exercise 1 Answers
- used to know
- use to have
- didn’t use to be
- used to live
- did you use to do
- used to think
- didn’t use to like
- used to spend
- use to work
- used to be
Exercise 2 Answers
- 1-B (Cut off – Stop communication)
- 2-D (Stoop to – Lower standards)
- 3-A (Make out – Pretend)
- 4-C (Get used to – Become accustomed)
- 5-E (Hang up – End phone conversation)
Exercise 3 Answers
- I know a person that/who is now a stranger.
- You have a record that/which I need to collect.
- We had a relationship that/which ended badly.
- She said something (that) I didn’t understand.
- He is a singer who/that wrote a song about a breakup.
- They lived in a house that/which was painted red.
- I have a friend who/that never calls me back.
- This is the sadness (that) I am addicted to.
- You are the person (that/whom) I used to know.
- That is the level (that) I will not stoop to.
